


Detangled

by KriKee



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Crack, F/M, Fluff, Hair is Serious Business, Humour, M/M, Multi, Orochimaru is a troll, Orochimaru is extra, Ridiculous, Trollrochimaru, giftfic, oldfic, pre-second war
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-24
Updated: 2019-01-24
Packaged: 2019-10-15 13:42:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 750
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17529806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KriKee/pseuds/KriKee
Summary: Orochimaru gets a hair cut.





	Detangled

**Author's Note:**

  * For [awintersrose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/awintersrose/gifts).



> For you my dear Rose, given this OT4 seems to have eaten our brains. If it was my fault, I’m sorry; if it’s your fault, you be sorry. :P  
> Jira/Tsu/Oro/Dan - but very loosely hinted at.

The problem with being famous, mused Orochimaru as he chased his enemy through yet _another_ stagnant pit of filth and algae, was that everyone seemed to intuit his weaknesses. Namely, he _hated_ his hair being dirty or tangled.

For three days the Kumo-nin had been darting in and out of the swampy terrain bordering River Country using the water and stench to mask her scent for a few hours; not because the _scent_ was lost entirely, but because Orochimaru had to stop to comb the worst of the filth out. He had been forced to take drastic measures and shorten his hair in order to keep on the bastard’s trail.

Give it ten minutes though and he’d be taking out every _second_ of annoyance and unnecessary hair care on her _hide_. Only the head had to make it back in one piece after all.

*

Orochimaru returned early, as expected, mused Sarutobi, and his report was to the same standards as always. What was _unusual_ was that Orochimaru hadn’t taken his hood down and his face was mostly obscured. His chakra was still cloaked out of habit, and yet … what if it wasn’t? Rare though it was for an enemy shinobi to be so good at henges and imitating a person entirely to get to the Hokage’s office, it _was_ possible. 

“Orochimaru, you know I think it rude to keep your headgear on when in my office. Take your hood down.”

“Sensei,” Orochimaru protests.

“Now, if you would.” With obvious reluctance his favourite student pushed his hood back and Sarutobi dropped his pipe; there was a desperate scrambling noise from one corner as an ANBU struggled to regain their usual perch in a ceiling corner. Orochimaru’s hair was _gone_. His hair was barely jaw length and you could see his _neck_ and earrings plain as day.

“Your hair …” 

Orochimaru looks away “Where are Tsunade, Dan and Jiraiya?”

“Down in the jounin standby room.” Saurobti answers automatically. “Are you okay? I know how much your hair - ” 

Orochimaru shakes his head and he draws his hood up. “It’s fine.” 

Without another word his shorn student leaves to find his partners. 

*

Orochimaru enters the standby room seeking his partners, feeling a need for their comfort after a gruelling, annoying mission. Seeing them in their usual spot by the window he walks over quickly, smiling sightly when they perk up at the sight of him. 

“You are well?” 

“Yeah. Bit bored because we’ve missed having you at home.” Jiraiya answers with a knowing smirk, causing Orochimaru to blush slightly. 

“Jiraiya.” Dan chides lightly. “How was your mission?” 

“Vexing.” says Oro as he pushes back his hood. 

Their jaws drop and Tsunade gasps. “Your hair!” and various versions of the same lament echo from all around the room. 

“The Kumo-nin was an annoyance. After the first few strikes at me I had to take further measures.”  

“Oh lover,” says Jiraiya softly. 

“It’ll grow back eventually Oro.” consoles Tsunade. “I’m sure we could come up with something to accelerate the growth.” 

Oro tries to push down the smirk. “It doesn’t look that bad, does it?” he asks, pushing a plaintive note into his voice. 

They fall over themselves telling him he’s beautiful, cute, elegant, that he can make any hair length work. 

“It’s a change Oro.” Jiraiya adds. “I don’t think anyone’s seen you with short hair.  _Ever_.” 

“I don’t like change.” Orochimaru says. Running his hands up his skull, grasping his hair at the roots, he channels a bit of chakra into his hair and pulls. All the hair he’d tucked away in tiny, tiny storage seals painstakingly inked onto his scalp with the aid of shadow clones emerges in a graceful wave, falling back down to his hips. 

“I do prefer my hair long.” he gloats, laughing just a bit at his partners’ slack faces. 

“But I also prefer it clean. My target kept running through stagnant water and swamps, utilising her suiton jutsus to try and soak me knowing that I’d have to clean it very quickly. So I took the tedious time hunting her down to create some new seals and then spent a night applying them to myself. Given her reaction when she saw my shorter hair was a big distraction apparently.” 

“I may have kept my hair shorter deliberately just to see if it was actually that shocking. It is, though I don’t really know why.” 

Dan lunges to kiss Orochimaru fervently. “You really are too smart for us.” He smiles.  

**Author's Note:**

> Because Orochimaru is exactly that extra and a troll.


End file.
